Existence

I am essentially free writing in this blogisphere. I never really know what will eventuate in my ramble. It is pretty much a stream of consciousness, which seems to develop an existence of it's own. Perhaps it is how the universe was formed. Out of nothing. A thought. An idea..but of whose creation....a creator? What if the creator is the nothingness behind each and every thought. Are thoughts driven by an external force? Do thoughts have any significance in the world outside that of the creator or artist? In fact what is thought? Questions stream through my mind at increasing speed...it is only when I stop before a keyboard or a blank page with pen in hand do I ever hope to capture, any single one or collection of them. To perhaps keep it hostage for a moment before it disperses into the mindscape or in this case cyber space. At one stage I meditated on Descartes often thought of one liner...."I think therefore I am"...I lost my writing on the topic due to hard drive failure, the idea is still lurking within the nether regions of inner space...I didn't have anything original to add, however I was a little suprised that the question I was pondering over had been thought of by others, without ever having come across it anywhere prior to the thought revealing itself...I essentially wondered whether the meaning of "I think therefore I am" came down to thinking something and thus believing it to be true. For example if one says "I can't do that" does that thought then dictate the outcome? "I think therefore I am"...I haven't read Descartes, so I haven't the authority to lay claim to understanding what his intention was when postulating this little statement. I assumed it had an existential foundation...yet when one examines the sentence in isolation, away from any other context, it does appear to take form as a statement on belief systems.

Like I said at the start of this bloggologue....writing seems to have a life of it's own. Thinking has a life of it's own...I am yet to come to a resolution though...I can deconstruct this process a little....The first thing that I encountered when I peered into the whiteness of this page was the question of what do I write...then from nowhere a title loomed above in my peripheral vision...Existence....So I wrote that down...Then I began this blog...without any preconceived ideas or at least conscious ones that I had planned to write, the words come from nowhere is my best guess (during the process I do go back and edit what I have written). Having said all that I have in a way come full circle...What is thought? Where does it come from? Is existence defined by it, as one can easily interperet from Descartes. Or is there more to Descartes statement than can be construed from first glances?

I am a amateur thinker at best, so am possibly out of my depth. Perhaps the real question is...Can I believe what I think? And if not then what can I believe? It is a continuing pursuit..perpetual in essence...I am definitely pursuing something...searching for something....I think I have stumbled across it...A belief system that is true! Absolute! Perfect? I think it has become clear, what it is I am searching for....perfection. The only thing that is said to be perfect is God. It would appear that I am at a cross roads. I am searching for perfection yet I can not accept it exists. It is the paradox of perfection, I want something I can not have.

Enough thinking for one night me thinks.