Woo Hoo! Thirty posts.

This will be my thirtief post on blogger. I think it cause for celebration, don't you? I don't really feel like celebrating though. I need this post for my sanity's sake. My head is still reeling with the idea that my search for a new job is not the right thing for me. I keep going on about this same thing and I am still none the wiser...the answer to my concerns is elusive. Perhaps there is no answer. I have an interview Friday morning and after looking at their website I couldn't say I was instilled with a tremendous sense of confidence. I am not at all impressed by their website, some of their links don't even work and I am left wondering if they have the same attitude towards their work culture. I can't see myself being employed there. Will I just be wasting their time and mine by going through with this interview? Am I just fearful of attending the interview and am I thus finding excuses not to go? I am half inclined to just withdraw my half hearted attempt at finding the perfect job. If I am totally serious about finding employment elsewhere then why don't I just resign from my present position? I lack faith.

Will making a move elsewhere provide me the satisfaction I crave? Will I be betraying the people I work with, by packing up and leaving? Fucking recruitment agents just don't listen. Why am I gonna go through with this interview when I am 90 percent sure already that I don't want to work for this mob? Questions! Questions! Questions! No answers.

I guess just because I am going to an interview doesn't mean I have to automatically accept the job if offered to me. I am only testing the waters. So what if I waste their time. Is it a crime to waste time. Is it immoral? Am I a moralist (sometimes I like to think so...LOL) What if they want to pay me the extra fifteen grand I will be asking for? None of these questions are really worth the stress I am going through. It is Tuesday. Friday is three days away. I need to focus on today, not some time from now.