Happy days

Well the weekend has now come to an end and I sit here not wanting it to be over. Another week seems like an unbearable proposition yet when tomorrow comes with the savage sounds of my alarm clock, I'll drag myself out of safety and face the world again. I'm thinking of the future, it seems a recurring nightmare and in some ways it is. A nightmare of my own creation. I could be thinking of the right now and perhaps of going to bed early so I can feel human in the morning, however I think in terms of how difficult tomorrow will be. It is probably an unfounded piece of fortune telling, the truth is that it will be just another day, if there is a terror ahead it will be that of sameness and dullness. If I bring myself into the moment all that is going on is that I am typing and half watching a movie on TV. That's all that I have to fear, nothing!

In truth I brought the fear into myself as I contemplated doing a course at the local community college and I'm half tempted to sign up right now so that I can laugh in the face of fear. The voice of reason tells me that, that it's an insane proposition, the voice of reason injects me with uncertainty and self doubt and I refrain from action as if paralysed by a neuro- toxin. Well perhaps I'll trick the fear and sign up tomorrow. Shh! Don't tell her.