PM Howard skates on thin ice!

Prime Minister John Howard has announced the federal government's plans to inject a further 150 million dollars into the war on drugs, in particular to fight against what the media has coined as the "ice epidemic". It seems rather odd that the PM would say that he is proud of his zero tolerance approach to the drug problem when almost 75 percent of this new funding will be directed towards the addiction treatment industry and a mere 40 million to be allocated to law enforcement. It would seem that Howard has fingers in all pies when he attempts to placate the masses with rhetoric about what is essentially a highly emotive social disorder. It is also amusing that Howard takes possession of the falling heroin overdoses, which is somehow a reflection on his government's tough on drugs stance. It is clearly a result of Asian crime syndicates moving away from the poppy fields into the more profitable business of amphetamine manufacture and distribution. I guess all the Howard government's rhetoric is just a ploy to gain votes in an election year.

I personally would rather see the funding going into research, only because the treatment of addiction is statistically an abysmal proposition. At best what we as a community can hope for, is a 10 to 15 percent success rate out of any treatment method and those figures are highly optimistic. If we are to fund the treatment of addictive disorders then I'd like to see the a good proportion of this funding in alternate approaches to addiction treatment, alternatives like SMART Recovery. The mental health services, which is the front line is in the battle with crystal Methamphetamine could do with a significant boost from this allotted election bribe as the most dangerous affect of amphetamine use is psychosis. It would be a pity and seem like a waste of funds if the greater proportion of 80 million dollars were only available to prop up existing rehabilitation centres that are affiliated with traditional 12 Step therapy which is arguably non treatment. We'd be fooling ourselves if we believe that a system that coerces substances abusers into treatment programs that promote 12 Step philosophy as the only way to treat addictive disorders will benefit the community in a significant way. Some not so favourable insights into into the effectiveness of 12 Step treatment can be found in the Orange Papers, it is compelling reading for anyone interested in the treatment of addiction. Wasting funding on drug diversion programs such the drug court is in my opinion tax dollars going down the drain. No one can force a person into sobriety so sending criminals to rehab is not going to have any significant impact on the successful treatment outcomes of these individuals.

It is an ineffectual use of resources that could be better spent in the long term on developing policy that decriminalises substance abuse and promotes real education rather than half baked educative programs that depict some misinformed sensationalist message aimed at political votes rather than useful information on harm reduction and prevention. Spending more money in social services and mental health will be a better instrument in fighting addiction rather than passing the buck into a no responsibility hands in the air rehabilitation system that has essentially no better outcomes than no treatment at all.

I can see why the government is happy with their system, it is a system that requires a minimalist expenditure in a short sighted vision. If the addicts are passed into a system that perpetuates for the most part 12 Step self help and away from relatively expensive professional therapy the costs seem an advantage. Voters aren't going to be happy if the government supports a program of professional help for what the community at large sees as a moral failing. However the costs are a misleading when one considers the high relapse rates of addicts and consequential hospital admissions with further detoxes and rehabs and damage that relapses often incur. Ultimately the tax payer dishes out for these failures and it is swept under the cover of yet more treatment through coercion.

The cost adds up and it may be time that we voters seriously began to look a little deeper than an added 150 million dollars.

Hypocrisy

There's something strangely appalling when one enters into the halls of hypocrisy and is then outraged that another could be exhibiting a behaviour that they themselves are not above. I am speaking in terms of family and it never ceases to amaze me; the dynamics that are present in dysfunctional relationships. My dad was having a go at my brother, which was somehow directed at me for some unbeknown reason and he was somewhat upset at my brother's alleged state of well lets just say inebriation. I couldn't help but think that this is a case of the kettle calling the pot black. I really don't understand why it is such devastating news that my brother would be in a incoherent frame of mind. Its not like anything will be vastly different because my dad hasn't talked with him for a while. It's unlikely reality will shift into a more pleasing form because you've buried your head in the sand for a period of hibernation. Reality would suggest that my brother likes to be in an altered mind set and it isn't likely to change because I or anybody else would desire it to be different.

Anyway, if one is to throw stones then it would be wise if one didn't do so inside a glass cocoon of self righteousness. I would've liked to have informed my dad of this ism but what is the point? Dysfunction exists for a reason and who I am to shatter the illusions of self righteousness and contempt. I only have one more week to contend with the dilemma I face with having my dad stay with me and it will be wise to keep my mouth shut. I don't particularly want to be the one throwing stones even if I have a distinct advantage of not living in a glass house. Of course my dad may stumble upon this post and he may even be a little belligerent but this is my space to rant and indulge my little secrets and in a smug sense of relief it isn't I that has some dirt that needs sweeping under the carpet whilst pointing fingers at someone else.

Shameless Self!

Addictive behaviour has turned me away from techno lust into more selfish pursuits in a bid to win favour amongst you, my reader. I've committed myself to world dominion and have designs on having my rants spread like a malicious infection in a binary world already filled with virulent gossiping and marketing of penis enlargements. All I ask is to be heard amongst the rabble of distraction, porn and information. Perhaps my rants are inferior to those of professional bloggers. I'd be willing to sell myself out for a pay cheque, if that's what it takes to have a voice heard. I'd even be willing to write about Britney Spears and her latest rehab romance.

Hang on a second, just one damn second!

That is taking things too far. I'd refuse to write about such transparent self promotion. Oh my God! Britney's in rehab. So fucking what! I'd sooner rather see her committed inside the an endless treatment program in some public hospital detox (at least the television would be free to air some useful information) rather than having to see her exploits at marketing her latest hair cut. This is old news but no doubt it will infest our airwaves again with more 12 step promotion with Britney Spears as poster girl for pseudo spirituality.

Anyway I am yet to acquire the discography of Skepticism. Red Eye Records emailed me and informed me that the discs are no longer in print and their worldwide database is incorrect. I have to give them credit just for the fact that they wrote to me explaining why my order had been canceled. So much for going legitimate, I've enrolled Amazon to service a one last quest to get the the CD's and if that fails then I can safely say that I did try the road to support the artist. I'll confess that channel BT has aided my enthusiasm for this band and I would really like to show my appreciation to them by buying their albums. They are a finnish doom metal band, and my lineage is from that northern sphere, in the forests of 1000 lakes, the snow, the ice and dark winter months of frigid cold. Hopefully Amazon will pull through so I can then enjoy the macabre darkness of brooding seductiveness that are Skepticism's songs.

In a self induced shameless desire I've joined forces with Technorati to promote this little space on the web but perhaps all I am naively doing is promoting Technorati. I've even joined MySpace, initially just so I could view someone else's pics but am now musing with the idea that maybe I really need a MySpace too. More shameless self promotion to coincide with the my gregarious need to belong and be loved by the whole of humanity.

Edit: I've just canceled the MySpace thing because it is lame and I'd rather do my own website than support a Rupert Murdoch enterprise. I only wanted to view some links on someone else's myspace but it was way too much hassle to even do that.

As Darkness Falls

I was sent a link from a friend today to sample his involvement in a new metal/hardcore outfit here in Sydney, As Darkness Falls. I have to say I was impressed with the demo's available on their myspace site. The vocalist Adam is a friend of mine and I wish him well in his efforts to brutalise Sydney with his harrowing growls combined with the hard hitting drumwork and breaks of the band.

Check em out http://www.myspace.com/asdarknessfallsaustralia

DRM and the ISP

It was only last night I that I reflected on being branded with the mark of DRM and as I awoke this morning the headlines on ABC News Online broadcast this;

Music industry pushes ISPs for action on illegal downloads

The Australian music industry has approached Internet service providers (ISP) to penalise people who illegally download music.

Under the plan, record labels would identify Internet customers who are illegally downloading and service providers would give them three warnings before cutting off their phone and Internet connections.

The full story can be found at http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200704/s1897439.htm

This reeks of what I believe was a previous Telstra proposition to packet sniff our connections, to have a peek at what we are downloading and to then prioritise bandwidth so that P2P apps are essentially cut out of the equation. I think according to Telstra, torrents are only used to download illegal material and that we are guilty for just using a Bit Torrent client. Now the "Australian Music Industry" wants to cut our "phone and internet connections" if we are caught downloading illegal content. This no breaking news and it is already loosely done, although I don't know if anyone has ever had their internet connection terminated because of it and if they were threatened to be cut off, then it was simply a matter of churning to another ISP.

The Music Industry already tracks downloaders of illegal content. They essentially join a swarm and identify the ISP's associated with an IP address downloading and uploading particular files and then send cease and desist letters or copyright infringement notices to the ISP's who own the IP addresses, who then pass the infringement notice onto the consumer who has that IP address at the time of alleged unscrupulous activity . However, now the Music Industry is embarking upon a crusade to deploy Internet Service Providers as the conformity enforcers of a solution to what is essentially their problem and to top it off they want ISP's to act as morality police for a failure on their part to stamp out file sharing and piracy.

The ABC article states that " Ms Heindl says several smaller Internet providers have already expressed support for the plan" and I can't help but be suspicious of the motives behind targeting smaller ISP's who would be only too keen on deploying measures to protect bandwidth that is precious to their survival due to some flaw in their business model. I wouldn't put it past the big name players like Telstra and Optus to use whatever excuse to prevent bandwidth exploitation from torrents and other file sharing apps so that their bottom line can be further expanded by whatever totalitarian methods they see fit.

There is something wrong with the system if the big guns in society are reduced to litigating against some teenager downloading a few measly songs off the internet. The idea of maximising the profit margins to finance the bonuses of music industry executives is where the whole system is flawed, so that some fat cat can maintain an ever increasing quest for power and a lifestyle to match. The solution to piracy that we are being sold is to live in a police state, where the moral police are internet service providers and the thought police are tied to the courts so that some sorry arsed geek, cops a termination of his telecommunications or ends up being sued for some breach of copyright, is absurd.

The problem can be fixed without such draconian measures, we just have to think outside the square. Surely the music industry can come up some scheme where there profits can be maximised using the technology that the consumer is using. Nowhere in history has prohibition ever worked so to think that threatening an online community with dire consequences is bound to be a futile endeavour. Surely the music and movie industries have to realise that the price they are charging and the limitations of digital rights management they are imposing are the culprits in this failure to enforce copyright. Online piracy is only one part of a bigger system of piracy represented by racketeers overseas where hard copy piracy runs rampant, with little word from the industries about taking actions to police such organised disregard for executives pay cheques.

This whole anti piracy campaign will ultimately fail because technology will always be one step ahead of what the bureaucracy is capable of enforcing.

DRM of nostalgia!

I've gone legitimate and DRM'd myself. I'm now in possession of not less than 5 albums which I purchased off BigPond Music and am not ripping my hair out with worry that the files will be next to useless. I was fairly surprised that I could transfer the files onto my Creative Zen Vision M without as much as a blink and in fact I used the Creative software to copy the files across. I can also burn the albums onto CD and then rip them to MP3 without grief. I of course use the worlds greatest MP3 encoder, LAME via Exact Audio Copy which I use to do the copying of all my audio CD's and I can't recommend it enough. Give Windows Media Player the flick if you want to rip your CDs, not so much as one blip or click when playing back on my MP3 player with EAC.

I can't say that my days with channel BT are over because I'm an immoral being and haven't sold out entirely to DRM and besides where else will I get my Linux ISO's from? I believe that EMI are doing away with DRM and it is a welcome move on the part of one Record Industry giant to heed the calls of the consumer. I think the Record Industry would do well to utilise the torrent culture in some way, but they seem to just want to take us music fans all the way to the bank. The price one pays for legitimate music downloads is a little hefty in my opinion, $16.50 for the average album probably represents a cost of half to that of an actual CD. It is excessive for what we are getting, when in comparison, owning a CD gives greater freedom to shift the music around. I'd like to see albums go for around 5 dollars online and also for online stores to offer a far greater array to choose from. The biggest attraction in the Bit Torrent swarm, from what I can gather, is that the selection is far superior to that of any online store and also the obvious consideration, that the music is free. (apart from AllofMP3 which has a good selection and extraordinarily inexpensive, but the legality of their offerings is somewhat dubious and suspect) In truth I haven't used the much famed Itunes because I don't want to have to install more software just to download some songs, however I'd imagine that their selection is much the same as to the plethora of music stores claiming millions of songs, but tell me if you can find Skepticism anywhere on their listings? I've had another go today at ordering their CDs, this time from Red Eye Records as JB Hi-Fi left me cold with only one of the CDs I ordered. After waiting for a couple of months, the deal fell through when their supplier couldn't get it or some other bullshit. Utopia Records didn't have any of em in stock either when I visited today, but I did get the new Nine Inch Nails - Year Zero CD, Kreator's Enemy of God and My Dying Bride's Deeper Down EP. I've gone ballistic with music this weekend but when discomfort is present, retail therapy is sometimes the only source of distraction and escapism that is viable. I guess I've been on trip in nostalgia and some of the purchases over the last couple of days are a reflection on this trip. A trip into a more innocent and endearing time of my life. When I look back it was a time of promise and perhaps fury of possibility, but as I sit here pondering, I never really took advantage of the fury in its full potential. I want to recapture some of it and redirect it into something worthwhile, but even now I am racked with the same doubts that fueled my existence back then. Some things don't change and I suppose it can if I want it to. I want some old flame to reignite the passion I once felt but it seems withered and aged and I'm afraid to take flight in case I cannot subdue it to manageable levels.

I've yet to fully listen to all this new music but the train ride to work in the sombre mornings of autumn will afford me the time to reflect on the soothing sounds of Metal to gear me for the long winter days ahead, while I slave at my workstation for the greater good of humanity.

Year Zero is a strange story in the land of Reznor, from having read the wikipedia on Year Zero and the back cover of the CD it promises insight into the moral police and what could be described as the beginning of the end. A concept album for a conceptualised world of terror and corruption of God. I really like the cover art, is it "The Hand That Feeds" coming from the heavens on the front cover?

I am almost jealous of artists, they seem to be able create something worthwhile while all I can do is create a mediocre existence and fantasise about how awesome it would be to have this thing that people could could take away with them on their travels and daily grind. I really admire musical songwriting talents. The seemingly simplicity of songs is often such an intense emotive force and the beauty of it is such that they can be tucked away in your pocket and expressed wherever you are. Anyway I haven't such talents but I can imagine and that is good enough.

Bridge to nowhere

Writing about the day's events is near impossible, only because my days are so very uninteresting. Like what should I write about? Nothing interesting happens in the engineering world. We design bridges and infrastructure so that the greater community can function in the way that it does, however when one begins to examine the events behind the making of said infrastructure, there really is nothing of any interpersonal interest that can be argued or extrapolated. There is no meaningful illustration of the human condition that can be drawn. For the better part of the day I sit in front a screen connecting dots into a depiction of how to possibly build a structure like a bridge, but it is boring. The only real metaphysical insight that may be drawn from such disinterest, is something someone once jestingly said, "build a bridge and get over it!" And that's what we do, build bridges so that people can get over them.

On a technical level, bridges present themselves as interesting structures to detail but if I were at all creative, I could investigate the physical symbolism of the forces and the agents of nature working against the design, something akin to the epic struggle between good and evil. However, in the quest for balance, it is Newton's third law of motion which at the end of each day, maintains the state of equilibrium that we take for granted. Perhaps it is this law, which states that "for every action there is an equal but opposite reaction" that subdues the agents that work with such laws into a dry and uneventful environment, that is the design office. Tis true that on rare occasion this equilibrium is pushed into an erratic state, when deadlines are tight and tempers frayed and someone snaps, but surely it is a cold day in hell when such entertaining displays are revealed.

So I struggle and wrestle to make sense of this world with such limited material available to me. The resultant force of such depravity is that I'm often left feeling rather cold and numb. Perhaps this other world or alternate reality that the office represents is truly where the heart of the human condition is. We spend the better part of our lives in such enclosures and surely it resembles a zoo to the alien life which transverse through strings that criss cross our fabric of reality into the multiverse of unseen realism. Perhaps it is why we are here, for the amusement of travelers that shield themselves from our insanity.

Wishful thinking!

Little by little do these days fall away to something that is called a life, however a question lies in wait. What have you done with your life? I seem to be stuck at square one. I've done this loop and it is a continuous spiral that spins in on itself and then out again. I seem to be caught in this spiral of doubt, doubting whether I have indeed moved forward or have just wound back to the position I started in.

Once again I'm left scratching my head wondering how I got stuck in this predicament. One of many existential crises that emerge in the daily battle with time. I have moved from one job into another, only to be back where I was before I left the prior. I am continually trying to understand how I can move out of the career that I just seemed to drift into and I can muse over what a colleague said, which went along the lines of "everybody does drafting by default". I have to agree with the statement, I drifted into this trade by default, without too much consideration of what I really wanted to do. Now that I have transitioned and honed my skills in this craft I find myself dissatisfied with my chosen career.

It is not an unusual dilemma and in times gone by it was considered the norm that one would stay inside a chosen field or skill or study and remain in that position for a lifetime. However it is the age of sanctified obsolescence and it is no more a virtue to remain with an employer or career path than it is to toss out last years generation Ipod.

My dilemma is compounded by lack of motivation, I know what I'd dearly love to do and it is within my power to strive in such a direction but I am discerned with total apathy. My ideals are thwarted by this uninspired apathy towards a desire I take flight with, inside the narrow vessels of synaptic vibration. I feel almost justified by accusing the machine of soul corruption for the demise of energetic enthusiasm that forms the pursuit of self actualisation. I can readily lay blame for the lack of available time to this disease of industrialised cloning of souls, to feed this beast of societal machinery that demands the attention to detail of an insect. The facade of individualised self is bought and sold with a trip to a muliplex, a cathedral of managed excess, in exchange of plastic swipes and ka chinging of registers. The whole idea is flawed and a mockery of counter culture revolt. In fact the whole basis of this society is built upon the illusion that we have a unique identity and that in essence we are free to express this individualism. In reality we are just conforming to multi national branding and express our individuality through the ring tone we put on our mobile phone. Such individualism, at best can merely be interpreted as a sign that we are chained to a corporate master and at worst, that we have contracted our souls to the devil or signed our lives over to a higher being that is telecast across the airwaves.

I can't say that I am immune to this disease because I am caught within its grip, a strangle hold of self that is miraged by the status of gadgetry. At best I can maintain some awareness that my identity is not all together defined by how many gigabytes of hard drive space my MP3 player has, or whether my mobile phone has an array of components to rival that of James Bond. I am a technology buff and enjoy the benefits that technology afford me but I would also like to keep some resemblance of the human form in my quest to achieve techno salvation. There was a time not that far away in the distance, that I could not lay claim to any of this quasi status egocentricity and it would soothe my soul to keep this fact in perspective and at the fore front of my thoughts.

A lot of humanity is suffering and I am lucky, just to be born in an age and a place where my greatest concern is pondering whether my life has amounted to anything. I can forever remain dissatisfied and it is outside of this demeanor that I can choose to find solace. If I continue to subscribe to the notion that it is not enough then I will believe that it isn't enough. I have aspirations and dreams and would like to explore areas of my creative expressionism in a more fulfilling fashion and nothing is preventing me from pursuing these dreams. I live in a country where I have the opportunity and freedom to explore my talents and if I fail to have a go then it is only I, that can accept such failure and blame. In truth I already explore my creative bent and my only regret is that I haven't more time to be more absorbed in this pursuit. At the end of the day it is about risk and if I don't have enough faith in myself to take the risk then it is my responsibility to let go of my aspirations and dreams and get on with whatever I have to get on with.

Nowhere but Nothing Face

I wonder what this life has in store for me. I fear that I will never get to a place where I can feel completely content. It is where my folly lies, in the completeness that can not be. What is completeness? Can one be fully complete or rather complete. It's impossible to assume that any form of the complete can even be entertained. How can one be complete? It assumes an end, some destination that is loosely defined by a word, content. The contentedness of being in some state of perpetual happiness. Content and happy, are these two words mutually compatible or are they two entirely separate entities? Is happiness defined by being content? Some correlation can be drawn for the mutual inclusiveness of happiness insofar as being in a state of not wanting or needing anything more, of being content. However is this really the definition of happiness? It seems to me, to be some ephemeral term this contentedness, a vaguely translucent construct that appears in moments of a wish less night. How can it be anything more than just a fleeting moment when, all things being considered, are in some alignment and then with the whim of a thought it can waft away with the breeze of desire. Is it not what desire stands for, discontentment? It would seem that happiness is circular, some crazy notion that one could be complete. Happiness is the absence of discontentment and somewhere along its etymology it has become a goal, a human pursuit that is ill perceived in reality. When one says they are truly happy, what exactly do they mean? That they are lacking desire or need or want, that they are content with exactly what they have? Its conceivable that such people exist but are they for real? Are they hidden in some existential bubble that they care not for anything? Do they not feel the macabre face of suffering when they look beyond the bubble. Are they living in a utopia that mere mortals dream of?

Happiness is bought and sold to the masses as an illusion. There is no happiness only the illusion that we could be happy, if only. Happiness is not the domain of the thinker, it is the possession of the mindless individual in the sense that the mind holds the keys to heaven and hell. Reality decides which way the key turns.

Reality is the key and its substance is illusion. Reality exists in an entity that does not exist. No where can we find the key but in our mind and it is nowhere to be seen. The mind hovers in a vacuous state of nothingness and no eye can perceive of this nothingness. If heaven and hell reside within the confines of nothingness then it is a nowhere place in a void that seemingly exists but does not. The clarity of this vacuous stare can be beheld when looking into the black dials of nothingness. If one looks deep inside the mirror, to the pupils of the beholder, a flash of recognition illuminates the illusion, it becomes rigid; it solidifies as it stares back into the reality of nothingness. Can we be happy when we see that there is nothing to be happy about, because it is nothing that is happiness. Like the song goes..."Don't Worry...Be Happy" because there is nothing to worry about.

Sometimes it seems as if I'm just pushing through this dark mass of matter that really shouldn't be in the way but is there nevertheless. It is a futile fight because I know that once I shovel through one great pile of shit then most assuredly another pile will amass. It just never ends and it is the way I look at things which causes me the most grief. I feel almost guilty for feeling the way I do. One of my great desires is to just to be able to be at home in the quiet and solitude without having to deal with the griefs of a long lost past that I can never reclaim or change. The problem is that this ill defined past is always in my shadow and I just cannot out run it. It clings to me like dog shit on the sole of my shoes, stinking the air that wafts around me.

I just need to hang on for just that little while longer. I just wish I knew how much longer that little while is. I can choose to define my experience as a lesson which I can grow from but it is just a load of bullshit. This experience is just one more of life's meaningless ventures. It is exactly in this existential vision that I can draw the most fixed state of being from. If I can somehow banish all meaning from the experience of living in a loveless past, I will then be in a position to strengthen a deeper understanding of the nuances of the present. The current feelings of anger and resentment are just mere fragments that I can salvage into a better day tomorrow. I have made it through this day, although I despised having to walk through the day I made it to the other side. At least when we celebrate God's death next weekend, I won't have the object of my frustration in front of my eyes so I can be thankful.

Syncing In

I was surprised to see in my yahoo inbox an email from a fellow nodian or perhaps an insider :P that commented on my previous post. The wonders of technology is such that Big Brother is never too far, the Google eyes have ears as well (who would have thought), ears to hear the rants of one disgruntled end user. As suggested by the commentator I have contacted Internode and am currently doing an extended isolation test, which will hopefully shed some light on the predicament I face. I will say that the gentleman on the other end of the line was extremely helpful and I cannot find fault with the tech support from Internode :) It is one of the reasons why I decided to go with Internode in the first place, they get rave reviews on Whirlpool so I joined the band wagon and haven't had much cause for complaint until recently, but that may very well be a fault on my end rather than anything to do on the Node's end. Because I have an affinity with speed I upped my dosage to 8 Megabit and my greed seemed to be my downfall but what can I do? My attempts at satisfaction go awry unless I get instantaneous gratification for my need for speed. Ideally things in cyber space should happen in a blink of an eye but we are still a ways off from such technology. I await in anticipation for the brute force of technology to satiate my desires.

Well having plugged the modem line directly into the telephone socket it appears that my connection has stabilised. Having done this test previously to a lesser degree than what i'm doing presently, I suspect I may know what the issue might be. As I looked at the line from my modem, something which I neglected to notice in my previous trouble shooting attempts, peering ever more closely I could see the line from my modem running through the UPS surge protector. Perhaps this is causing interference of some kind and thus the drop outs. I will leave the isolation test to run overnight to see if my suspicions are correct. Problems seemingly are almost always in the most obvious places and sometimes it pays to be a little more aware.

Anyway enough free publicity for Internode, after all they are just an ISP and I'm not being paid to write some spin for them. People can look here and here if they want more info.